Take You As You Are: Loving all of You VS. seasonal weight gain
By Topango Stargazer
1 minute read
Finding oneself can be a challenging task particularly for those of us that do or did not have a stable upbringing or environment.
Struggling with weight gain during the holiday season is common among many people for the obvious reasons of simply enjoying foods we have deprived ourselves from all year. Unfortunately, the darker side seasonal weight gain is often based in unhealed or unresolved trauma. Take for example, as a child and adolescent, I too struggled with weight gain due to being lonely. Food for me was a means of satisfying boredom. Food was also a means of trying to fill an empty void of a lack of love in my and my mother’s life. Rejected upon conception from my mothers’ family and abandoned at birth by an unknown father; I wore the cloak of food comfort in support of my diminishing self-worth. This only lead to a cycle of poor self-esteem when I looked in the mirror and eventual self-hatred as others continually disregarded my existence.
Once I stopped to ask myself the very simple question, why are you eating this or why are you eating again? I found that I was able to eventually identify the root of what was driving my proverbial hunger. In part, I was mimicking coping behaviors of my mother who suffered her own unresolved and unhealed trauma of mental illness. In other part, the environment in which I existed, was a direct reflection of my mothers’ state of mind. My dear mother eventually ended her own life due to this unresolved and unhealed illness.
Recognizing that you may struggle with seasonal weight gain is okay. Understanding that it may be more to do with just enjoying food is helpful. Identifying the WHY is where the change begins! Self-love takes work. It takes work, long after the new year motivational bullshit wears off or you burn out at the gym. I have learned that self-love is a constant in life that requires consistent attention and focus. Yes, that might mean changing your environment to better ease your path of optimal mental health.
So, taking you as you are…. I wish you the best in your pursuit of you. You are worth it!
Love,
Topango
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